I am sitting here with my son waiting for my husband to return from a weeklong business trip, so happy that it is Friday! All my son wants to talk about is what is occurring on Wheel of Fortune, his new 6:27pm interest. He gives me the play by play, I wonder if Wheel of Fortune needs a sports caster? Okay back to my epiphany.....I spend most days in the car for way too long doing the same circle to and from wherever and way too much quiet time to overanalyze everything! I went to a wonderful women's networking event today, it was very nice to get out and listen to what others are doing in the world. I do not think I have ever been in a room with that many coaches - life coaches, image coaches, relationship coaches, marketing coaches and the list continues. It was fascinating to see that many enthusiastic people making a "a purpose for their passion" to help others. (PforP is AmyK's but I love that phrase)
As I listened, my thoughts immediately went into business consultant mode, I started analyzing every business venture in the room - the circle of questions - how would you make money doing that? how much would you make? how much time does it take? how would you price that? where would you find clients? how could you tap into that market and sell it the most efficiently? what does the growth plan look like, is there a growth plan or is it always an individual thing? Really this is how I think and it can be exhausting......
Part of the networking event is to introduce yourself, explain what you do, what you need and what you have done for someone else lately - I liked the format and you only had 60 seconds which was great because I did not want anyone to sell me anything. Before we sat down to lunch the usual mingle social introductions occurred and everyone wanted to know "what is my business and if I have a business card". Well I did not think to bring cards with me, what would they say -
"over analytical stay at home wife/mom that doesn't clean, sends her dog to doggie day care, forgets to take care of the dry cleaning and rarely has time to cook"
I guess I could have brought my old business cards and received the instant looks of -
"uh? what is that? but it says Director so you must be smart and ambitious..."
So of course my answers were always way longer than necessary and I felt the need to explain what I used to do at work, that I recently moved here and I am officially on a family break which involves taking care of the house, my son, my husband and helping my parents out.
My epiphany on the drive home was, this is why I must be so tired mentally, my brain is so used to analyzing a process/system or person, making a list of challenges / improvements, managing the improvements to completion and then moving on to the next thing that needs an overhaul or tweak that I am physically not able to quiet the mindful madness...it can be exhausting!
In my current journey to take a family break and get all those things you think about getting done when you are working and have no time to complete, my mind never stops. Thoughts I struggle with daily is the need to work toward a tangible goal or accomplishment to feel satisfied - so this is embarrassing but I sometimes make up little mini daily goals to make this sometimes extremely boring job a little more motivating and interesting - a mini goal in my new life would be "get all the dishes in the dishwasher before husband gets homes...", "play with the dog for two 20 minute intervals", "get two pictures hung or three boxes opened", "pack a box to donate" and I rarely accomplish these goals but no one really cares so it is up to me to hold myself accountable and we all know how self accountable goals go...
Believe me there is no amount of over analytical thinking that can revolutionize getting dishes in the dishwasher - as I walk past the dirty dishes in the sink, my consultant mind kicks on and I start to think of my options -
- Option 1 - I can outsource this task, Challenge - what time would this person need to come so that the most dishes would be dirty, who is going to come daily for a ten minute task, how much will they charge me, who is going to pay for this.
- Option 2 - I can use paper plates, Challenge - that is just so bad for the environment, requires too much storage space, what a waste of money.
- Option 3 - Go out to eat, Challenge - are there any healthy restaurants near by? who will take care of the dog while we are out all the time, what is the cost comparison to cooking each night
- Option 4 - start a daily routine / schedule I must follow. Challenge - No routines / schedules in real life, they just do not work because real life kicks in and well another unsuccessful day passes by and I think "what the hell did I do all day"
I sound as though I am beating myself up, do not get me wrong I am very happy and confident about the decision to take a career break and dedicate my time to keeping our family organized, fed and whatever else it is I am doing despite learning that I am terrible at cleaning, laundry and dishes. I am very happy not trying to juggle eighteen things at once and worrying about some self induced problem or a deadline at work.
But I cannot help but wonder does everyone think like this all day????
Should I rename this blog - all about the dishes since they seem to make their way into every entry.....